Monday Musing

[ Karyir Riba ]

Dear readers, first and foremost, let me wish you a very, very happy new year. May this year be Corona-free and may we all get back our normal lives. After all, it is no fun at all to wear the prettiest lip colour just to cover it up with a mask.

Once again, the time of the year to be with our loved ones, rejoice, make merry, get fat and make resolutions has arrived.

Since time immemorial, the absolute fact remains that resolutions are meant to be made but not followed. What have changed are the kinds of resolutions that we make. While as teenagers our resolution might have been to add an extra hour to our daily study time, or to pay more attention in class, as adults it might change to taking better care of our health, skin, home and whatnot.

Out of all resolutions, there’s one that takes the cake. The ‘I’m not touching alcohol ever again’ resolution. This is the most infamous and the most commonly made resolution, and the most honest lie a person can tell himself and others dear to him.

I have been blessed with the pleasure of being acquainted firsthand with so many people who are epitomes of this no-more-alcohol resolution. On the morning of the 31st, these species seem very determined. By evening, this determination turns more towards last-drink-of-my-life. And on 1st January, these are the people that have had the most drinks, dancing away to ‘Lolipop lagelu’ (the very famous bhojpuri song), missing every beat with every bit of their confidence intact.

Every parent will agree with me on this: it is not an easy task to raise a child – not even close. And when you have two kids to take care of, you tend to lose track of time. The phrase ‘time flies’ is not a myth. When you are a parent, if there is anything faster than flying, time does that, too.

After I became a mother for the second time, I have a very hazy memory of how many new year celebrations have come and gone. Mentally, I’m still stuck in 2016 I feel. That tired I am.

Kudos to my parents, seriously! They had four children, yet celebrated every special occasion for us in the best possible way. The most happening one being the waiting night and new year celebrations. Two days of full-on excitement, fun, food, party and lots of dancing. I can’t stop wondering where they must have brought all that energy from.

Well, I, as a mother, celebrate the waiting night just getting cozy with my kids and husband in our bedroom, watching some television, teary-eyed from all the yawning, and bring in the new year at 12 am with a cake, eat the cake, put the boys in bed, get in bed and spend the next hour on my phone replying to all the messages wishing me and my family a happy new year.

My kids are growing up now and this year they seemed a little bored of our arrangement. So I have decided to pull up my socks and be a better mother.

So, after all these years of holding the most boring waiting night parties for my family, this new year my resolution is to be a more fun and energetic person.

This new year, I resolve to be a better mother for my children. If only you could see me now! I could easily strike a Jhansi ki Rani pose while saying this. That proud I am!

This will be a difficult feat to achieve, I know. The problem is that movies have set a very high bar for the perfect mother. The way mothers are picturised in Bollywood movies is a true example of expectations versus reality, let me tell you.

How can you always be smiling? How do you not get mad ever? How can you always behave so well?

Like Marshmallow says in his song with Anne-Marie, “I’ve told you one, two, three, four, five, six thousand times. Haven’t I made it obvious? Haven’t I made it clear? Want me to spell it out for you?” I totally relate to this part of the lyrics, wholeheartedly so.

When you have to say the same thing on repeat every day to the same person, how can you not yell at them?

My older son says to me, “Mama, you have a different voice when we have guests and when we have no guests.”

These two boys drive me up the wall every day and expect me to be the sweetest sounding mother there is. No sir! Not happening.

I pity my husband. It amazes me to see how that poor man manages to bring romance into our lives despite seeing the worst side of me every single day.

But this is going to change. I’m going to change it (Jhansi ki Rani pose again). I resolve to give them the sweetest, most loving and grounded mother ever. I resolve to be the best mother there has ever been. Let them test my patience. I’m not going to budge from my new year resolution.

Another thing I resolve to do is to give up procrastination for good. I had planned to write my piece before Christmas 2021, so that I could enjoy the holiday season without worrying about my deadline. But thanks to my terrible habit of procrastinating, I am pushing myself to finish this while the rest of my extended family is merrymaking. My dear husband has been desperately calling for me to join them as the family game of housie is about to start.

Before signing out, here’s wishing everyone that you succeed in keeping your resolutions. After all, resolutions are meant to be made and not followed, aren’t they?