[ Dr Vibhuti Jha ]
As countrymen, we all expect our young generation, undergoing professional studies in colleges, to bring changes in the country wherever we feel issues and need for improvement, whether it is about systems, technology, society, culture, politics, or any other area. But a big question is whether this generation is ready to take up such challenge of bringing expected change (maturity issue, and whether we are developing them well to become capable of doing it (upbringing issue).
As an academician, my answer is definitely not encouraging in current state of social, political and educational scenario of the country as the issue of developing mature professionals from college students is not going up to the mark. Frankly speaking, the new generation studying in colleges is not mature enough – neither by skills nor by mindset – to become as responsible as we expect them to be in this age of acquiring professional education.
This is alarming for a growing country like ours, which banks on this generation so much to speed up and sustain the steps of progress by becoming responsible professionals and citizens. If we compare the youth of this age group of countries like Japan/Korea, the maturity level is very high in comparison to ours. With my experience outside India, I can say that we lack in the upbringing aspect in comparison to them.
There is a system of effective parenting, blended with very focused (without materialistic distractions) teaching-learning which is developing the talents continually to become capable of taking responsible roles in society, industries, and the country. That is why they are in a position to create many layers of efficient entrepreneurs, managers, scientists, innovators and researchers in the country in contrast to us, where very few rise to the expectations, and that too because of either extraordinary inherent talent or by extraordinary good parenting.
To be honest and rational, as parents of this “important” generation of the country, we are actually responsible for such a discouraging scenario in our country where we have actually spoiled our generation Z (born between 1997 and 2012) by creating distractions of materialistic things like physical luxuries, facilities, gadgets, etc, to facilitate youngsters to lose focus by the time they are supposed to grow mature.
With the rise in incomes after liberalisation, privatisation and globalisation (LPG), this distraction is being taken further to the next level by new educated parents in case of our Alpha generation (born after 2012). Such modern parents have learnt from their global exposures that parenting means providing facilities and material possessions for the kids and self-proclaim themselves as ‘good parents’. They are, in fact, not making any effort to grow them to be mature but pampering them, as kids with no responsibilities, without realising the expectations of the real world. Such ‘kids’, under the influence of materialistic possessions, are bound to lose focus on matters of studies, skills, attitude, behaviour, integrity, values, character, etc, in their growth process, and I can confidently say that, because of this bad parenting, most of them end up becoming immature – running away from responsibilities. This is similar to the situation the US faced in the past (which facilitated Asians to take on important roles in US industries over American youngsters).
The sad part of this crude reality is that parents blame the society, schools, colleges, western culture and their own children for their inability to perform maturely in professional and personal lives after reaching the age of maturity. How can you expect a pampered kid (up to teen age) to become mature overnight? Such parents do not wish to take any blame for their failure in properly upbringing their kids and developing them as responsible and mature citizens. Such youngsters are in majority in our colleges, who actually lack maturity, are afraid of the real world, and look for comfort zone to hide like kids.
There is a serious need to look into the fact file as responsible parents and citizen, and to give a serious thought to this vital issue of national interest, for the sake of our next generations.
# Why are our chilred not growing mature and responsible?
# Where are we going wrong?
# What is needed to be corrected before thing go further worst?
In most cases, we parents try to give our children all those facilities, comforts, material goods, and services which we were deprived of or not given in our childhood. An overview might make it look like good parenting, but actually it is immature parenting, like giving a slow poison to our own kids. In fact, there is a need to impart life values and professional skills to the young ones, rather than providing them with material possessions and treating them like kids, in order to make them feel responsible and mature. We have become educated over the years but are still unable to realise that we are, in fact, harming our kids by letting them remain ‘kids’ even till the age of college days by overprotection, over-care, over-facilitation, etc, considering these as good and caring parenting. They get childlike treatment and feel happy in getting so from their ‘modern and good’ parents.
The marketing gimmicks of big product brands have changed the definition of ‘good parenting’ from value-based to material-based to sell their products. The result is that the kids grow up as ‘momma’s boy/papa’s girl, and do not want to become mature even at a responsible age. We can see examples of such bad parenting in the form of reels/videos/contents posted by youngsters on social media, where we cannot even think that such generation could take responsible roles in the society and the country. After the age of ‘theoretical maturity’, such ‘godparents’ suddenly expect their ‘kids’ to become mature overnight, which the kids do not like at all and think that good parents have turned bad. They become confused about their own existence, feelings and realities. This strange situation makes their lives look ‘casual’ from outside, but are actually complicated from the inside.
Nobody seems to be serious about our roles as responsible parents to the new generation, rather than being just facility-provider moms and dads. We are actually giving chocolate to ourselves, patting our own back and confine ourselves to our own materialistic world, forgetting the big interest of the country.
Due to changing societal scenario caused by global influences, rising educational expectations, changing priorities of lives and careers, extreme work pressure, and lack of proper parental mentoring, we usually land up having no time for our children at their crucial stages of life and try to compensate that by providing material things to make the kids forget that aspect. This is actually a bad upbringing approach.
I am convinced that it is the responsibility of parents to help their kids become mature at the right age and in the right context. It needs a systematic natural process to be followed, instead of handling them in two completely opposite ways of over-pampering till age A, and then suddenly expecting a kid to become responsible, mature, self-motivated etc, by age B.
Unfortunately age A depends on the comfort level of parents, without even knowing the real latent possibilities in their own kids. Age B is left to school/colleges to take care of, thinking that parental role is over in the developmental process of their wards. Such wards, when they reach higher classes/colleges and their teachers try to impart new knowledge and try to inculcate a professional attitude in them, start being repelled by the whole idea of teaching-learning pedagogy to remain and maintain their kid-hood because that was their golden period/comfort zone that still remains in their minds. This makes their mindset, lives and attitude distracted to become more confused and unable to take any responsibility in life and careers as employees or citizens.
It all looks difficult and strange at first, but it is the reality and the core problem for all of us as parents, teachers and professionals is to think and resolve. Instead of focusing on materialistic approach, we need to focus on value-based approach as parents to develop a sense of values, sharing, caring, respecting, taking up responsibilities, self-discipline, team work, ethical behaviour, mature behaviour, etc. These learnings are a must to be imparted at the right ages, so that the development of children can occur in natural form to facilitate them to grow responsible.
The role of parents must be like true mentors, not as owners of the children, or as facility-providers. We, as parents, must accept the individual uniqueness of our children and must not impose our desires/wishes on them. We must help kids recognise their core strength areas, interest areas, and competency areas to develop confidence. We, as parents, must set examples for our kids to learn good things, values, and morals in life.
All the good quotes are available on Facebook/WhatsApp and not in practical live. We must work in erasing this myth from the minds of our kids. We must give quality time to our children to develop faith and trust in themselves, solve their confusions and issues at the right age, give them advice, not mere directions, and not the least, be in their shoes to understand them.
The role of upbringing is vital for the new generations and the generations to come, and parents need to play their part sensibly. Then only can we expect our kids to become responsible, genuine, caring, and sharing citizens with the right attitude. Such accountable and responsible citizens will definitely lead the nation to new heights, such as in countries like Japan and Korea. (The contributor is vice-chancellor, The Global University, Itanagar, and can be reached at Vc.tgu.ap @gmail.com)
